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The (Conservative) Maestro
Yeah, I wrote that. And I meant it.

Mrs. Eppie Senter Teaches Covid Math

6/20/2020

 
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“Good afternoon, class.”
 
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Senter.”
 
“Class, today we’re going to do a series of word problems. I hope you all have your pencils sharpened and your paper out. Please put your calculators away. I’ll want the students who come up with the right answers to show their work.”
 
“Here’s the first part of the problem: Andrew Cuomo is the Governor of New York state. Governor Cuomo is stating concern about the rise of coronavirus cases in Florida, and said he might consider a quarantine of people traveling from Florida to New York.”
 
“New York has a population of 19.4 million and has had roughly 387,000 confirmed cases of coronavirus. What is the confirmed infection in the overall population in New York?”
 
“Oh, oh, Mrs. Senter! I know, I know!”
 
“Yes, Ronnie D.”
 
“It’s around 1.99%.”
 
“Very good, Ronnie. Now, Florida has a population of 21.5 million and has had 93,797 cases. What’s Florida’s infection rate?”
 
“Oh, oh, Mrs. Senter! Pick me! Pick me!”
 
“You again, Ronnie D.? All right.”
 
“It’s like 0.43%.”
 
“Well, then. If New York had the same confirmed infection rate as Florida under Governor Cuomo’s leadership, how many cases would it have? Someone else now.”
 
“I know.”
 
“Go ahead, Donald.”
 
“Complaining Andrew Cuomo would have only 83,420 cases if he had done as good a job as Ronnie D. … I mean, Florida, in containing the virus.”
 
“OK, Donald. I don’t remember asking for commentary. And by the way, I said put away that calculator. Part two of the problem. New York has had 24,710 deaths from coronavirus. What is the death rate among COVID cases Governor Cuomo’s state?”
 
“My turn!”
 
“Yes, Sean H.”
 
“Governor No Leadership has a death rate of roughly 6.4%.”
 
“How about Florida – where there have been 3144 deaths?”
 
“My staff says … I mean, my quick calculations tell me 3.35%.”
 
“Which means, even with many times the case rate, how many deaths would there be in New York if Governor Cuomo had done as good a job containing deaths – by focusing resources on the most vulnerable populations – as Florida?”
 
“I’m at 12,965.”
 
“Let’s say the overall death rate for Florida were applied to New York. Can anyone do those calculations? Ronnie D., you again?”
 
“I’m way ahead of you, Teach. 3144 deaths against 21.5 million population is an overall death rate of 0.0146%. Which against New York’s population would come to 2836.” 
 
“So how many fewer deaths would there be in New York if Governor Cuomo had done as well as Florida?”
 
“Let’s see… 24,710 minus 2836 comes to 21,874.”
 
“Now… the media is very upset that the case count in Florida increased by some 4049 people today. If that increase in cases were to continue and New York were to have no new cases, how many days would it take Florida to get to New York’s case count? Ronnie D., you seem pretty quick today.”
 
“I get just over 72.”
 
“By the way, if the Florida rate were applied to the entire U.S., where some 121,000 people have died, how many would have died? Debbie B., we haven’t heard from you yet.”
 
“Just under 48,000 – 73,000 fewer.”
 
“For extra credit, does anyone know how many people die in a bad flu season?”
 
“61,000 people died in the 2017-2018 flu season, Mrs. Senter.”
 
“Very good, Debbie B. Is that more or less than 48,000? Class?”
 
(In unison.) “More, Mrs. Senter.”
 
“Very good, class. Tomorrow we’ll be looking at some calculations that are much less controversial – percentages of people shot by police by race.”

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    Your (Conservative) Maestro has been around for a really long time orchestrating messaging and communications strategy for politicians, CEOs and other assorted types. He thinks he may have picked up a few things along the way.

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