In Which (C)M Meanders Across an Unbelievably Full News Day (or Two) … and Offers Free Marketing Advice
Hey. Your (Conservative) Maestro never promised you that everything he does would involve satire.
It can be just as much fun and satisfying (for [C]M, at least) to launch rapid-fire, snarky comments on ridiculous items in the news.
“Join our police force and you too can face the death penalty for a mistake on the job.”
What? Too over the top?
Not nearly as much as charging a police officer with a capital crime for a split-second decision to shoot a violent, fleeing subject pointing his own weapon at him.
(C)M has a feeling the Atlanta Police Department’s retention rate is going to take a hit.
To which even the most (Conservative) Maestro must react: DUH. What took you so long?
As a keto convert, (C)M can even suggest a new brand name:
“Sugar-Laden, Cavity-Causing Obesity-Builder.”
Don't like that one, either? 0 for 2, I guess.
The only possible response: “horrors!”
Both about the revelations about The Donald’s negotiating and management style (the latter not much of a revelation at this point).
But even more so, a former insider’s utter treachery in the midst of an election campaign.
None more telling than Mr. Bolton’s screeching dog whistle to Democrats in Congress on “a pattern of fundamentally unacceptable behavior that eroded the very legitimacy of the presidency:”
“Had Democratic impeachment advocates not been so obsessed with their Ukraine blitzkrieg in 2019, had they taken the time to inquire more systematically about Trump’s behavior across his entire foreign policy, the impeachment outcome might well have been different.”
Translated: maybe y’all might want to try again. And this time, call me as a witness. Didn't want to get out ahead of my book before.
(C)M’s crisis advice? The classic, Wag-the-Dog-ian “change the subject.” Mr. Bolton’s (lack of) character -- he's even more of a self-centered, lying snake than he charges the President with being -- will do nicely.
A reminiscence seems strangely in order here.
(C)M once came face-to-face with the legendary coach Bo Schembechler. Another Michigan runner and (C)M were walking out of the indoor track facility where his football team did winter drills on the infield. Managers were moving some equipment, and the great Bob looked at us and barked, “Give them some room, men.”
We gaped at each and exulted: “He called us men! Bo Schembechler called us men!”
(C)M can only wonder what Bo, as opposed to Oklahoma State head man Mike Gundy, might have called the crybaby players who “helped me see through their eyes how the T-shirt” – a T-shirt with a network logo – “affected their hearts.”
One sincerely doubts it would have been printable.
“Federal troops clearing out six city blocks of the Woke Taliban is exactly what the Woke Taliban want. These are domestic terrorists, not criminals. Criminals would flee. Terrorists will want to make a statement, and the arrival of federal troops will certainly result in catastrophe, in martyrs, in dead and wounded innocents, in everything being lit on fire….”
“Let’s give Nobathistan all the freedom from the United States, the rule of law, and capitalism it wants — all the rope it desires… Let’s enjoy yet one more collapse of pure socialism, of Marxism, of fascism… Let’s revel in Seattle’s Democrats getting what they voted for….”
Well, sure, Dude. That's one way of looking at it.
(C)M might extend the reasoning: murderers will eventually destroy themselves. So will thieves. Rapists. Vandals. Heck, let’s let them all destroy themselves.
Or just maybe … not.
Because in case Mr. Nolte didn’t notice, criminals – and urban terrorists – take the rest of society with them.
Surely he remembers the "broken windows" theory of policing, a theory that – in contrast to his and Seattle’s concept of dealing with thugs – offers the benefit of actually working.
Fix the first broken window, or all the windows in a building will be broken. Deal with one homeless person pooping in the wrong place, or you lose control of the sidewalks. Stop one squeegee man, or you won't be able to drive through a neighborhood unmolested.
Perhaps shutting down CHAZ would create a martyr … or two or three. But it will also send two messages: Lawlessness won’t be tolerated. And as Bill O’Reilly would have put it, your government is looking out for you.
Mayor "Summer of Love" doesn’t get that. The President does. (C)M sides with him.
Your (Conservative) Maestro has been around for a really long time orchestrating messaging and communications strategy for politicians, CEOs and other assorted types. He thinks he may have picked up a few things along the way.