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The (Conservative) Maestro
Yeah, I wrote that. And I meant it.

Gander Joe Samples the Sauce in the White House

11/30/2020

 
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“Gander Joe, it’s our first family dinner at the White House.”
 
“Yes, Jillie, and I can’t wait. I remember how wonderful the meals here were with Turkey Barack … pffft! Chef, what is that glop with this appetizer!”
 
“Why, it’s the same Congressional Investigation Corruption Dipping Sauce served to Trump Goose, Mr. President. Senator Graham and his Judiciary Committee are dipping into your son Hunter’s activities with Burisma in Ukraine, and your involvement. He’s conjured up a whole week of tasty hearings featuring Tony Bobulinski and months more with other assorted witnesses, including a reprise of some of your former staffers who were apparently involved in the Trump impeachment scam.”
 
“Yuck! I hope the next course is better!”
 
“Of course, sir. Here’s something to cleanse your palette.”
 
“Ar-r-r-r-gh! My mouth is burning. What are you feeding us now?
 
“Just a cup or so of Special Counsel Sriracha. Republicans finagled the appointment of their own Bob Mueller, like the one who went after Trump Goose. And it appears he has a smoldering interest in the circumstances under which Hunter snagged a $1-billion investment from a Chinese government-related entity just days after flying there with you on Air Force II. Not to mention just who the ‘Big Guy’ mentioned in ‘H’s’ emails is… Big Guy. I’m guessing it will take 18 months or so to figure it all out.”
 
“Does it have to be that hot?”
 
“If you can’t stand the heat, Mr. President….”
 
“All right, all right. Let’s just move on to the salad.”
 
“Certainly, Mr. President. Here is a specialty of the House.”
 
“Barf!!! What House could that possibly be? What is this poison on top?”
 
“It’s State Legislature Election Probe Pique Sauce, sir! It seems the Republican-controlled Houses – and Senates – of Georgia, Michigan, Wisconsin and especially Pennsylvania are a bit curious about the improbable, and frankly, statistically impossible manner in which huge Trump Goose leads were miraculously wiped out overnight in four separate states after vote counts were mysteriously delayed. They’re sorting through thousands of affidavits on irregularities and, I understand, getting a raft of subpoenas ready, if not more than a few referrals for indictments. Should make for months of distraction and disruption at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, just like Trump Goose had to deal with for four years.”
 
“Enough, already. You’re going to kill us.”
 
“Well, not you exactly, but maybe any chance of sustained success for your administration. Sound familiar?”
 
“Ah, finally, the main course. This has to be better … blech! Can you explain this?”
 
“It’s Senate Filibuster Supreme, Mr. President. You didn’t think you were going to skate your judicial nominations through the World’s Most Destructive – I mean, Deliberative – Body after the drama and posturing Trump Goose faced with his Kavanaugh and Barrett appointments, did you?”
 
“Can we get to dessert, at least? How bad can that be … ptui! Now what?”
 
“It’s Peachy Impeachment Sauce, sir. Giving you just a taste of what’s to come after two years of disaster upon disaster lead to a renewed GOP takeover of the House. As these other scandals ripen, they’ll certainly have their choice of counts. The hearings and trial could go on for half a year. Why would they have any reason to rush it through as the Democrats did to Trump Goose?”
 
“Trump Goose! Trump Goose! That’s what this is really all about, isn’t it?”
 
Well, Mr. President.  As they say, sauce for Trump Goose ….”
 
 


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    Your (Conservative) Maestro has been around for a really long time orchestrating messaging and communications strategy for politicians, CEOs and other assorted types. He thinks he may have picked up a few things along the way.

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