Your (Conservative) Maestro, in yet another scoop, has been able to obtain a secret transcript from the recent negotiations between the poverty-crying billionaire owners of Major League Baseball (who by at least one report have hauled in $8 billion in profits since 2010, and have saved millions by cashiering hundreds of low-paid minor leaguers) and the equally sympathetic representatives of the Major League Baseball Players Association (whose top players make $36 million in a normal season and who average $4.4 million).
The transcript of their discussions, representing their selfless, tireless combined efforts to salvage a meaningful season that would lift the spirits of fans in the midst of a still frightening global pandemic, civil strife, economic collapse, 30+ million lost jobs and 13.4 percent unemployment, follows:
(Yeah. That’s what you thought.)
Your (Conservative) Maestro has been around for a really long time orchestrating messaging and communications strategy for politicians, CEOs and other assorted types. He thinks he may have picked up a few things along the way.