My First Peaceful Protest Reader

See The Peaceful Protesters. “Protest” is when you get really mad about something, like when Mommy tells you to go to bed before your video game is over. Poor you! Mean Mommy!

See The Peaceful Protesters go to a Police Building in Seattle. The Peaceful Protesters say The Police have been mean to them, too. Poor Peaceful Protestors! Mean Police!

See The Peaceful Protesters throw peaceful bricks and rocks and bombs at the mean Police and the Police Building. Peaceful Protesters!

See The Police get in the way of the peaceful bricks and rocks and bombs and go to the hospital. Silly Police!

See The Police use stinky, ouch-y gas to make The Peaceful Protesters stop throwing peaceful bricks and rocks and bombs. The Peaceful Protesters say The Police are being mean again. Stinky gas! Mean Police!

See @MayorJenny and Police Chief Carmen. See @MayorJenny and Police Chief Carmen order a “Reduced Footprint.” A Reduced Footprint is when fewer Police get in the way of The Peaceful Protestors and their peaceful bricks and rocks and bombs. Nice @MayorJenny and Police Chief Carmen!

See The Peaceful Protestors show how grateful they are to nice @MayorJenny and Police Chief Carmen. See The Peaceful Protestors throw more bricks and rocks and bombs. See The Peaceful Protestors invite their friends from The John Brown Gun Club and Antifa. See the friends’ AK-47 military rifles. Grateful Peaceful Protestors!

See @MayorJenny and Police Chief Carmen order an “Exercise in Trust and De-Escalation.” An Exercise in Trust and De-Escalation is like when Billy the Bully says for you to give him your lunch money or he will beat you up. You trust him with it and run away.

See how fast The Police Trust and De-Escalate! Trust, Police, Trust! De-Escalate, Police, De-Escalate! There are no more Mean Police near the Police Building to get in the way of the peaceful bricks and rocks and bombs. Fast Police!

See The Peaceful Protestors and friends put up walls around The Police Building and houses and stores and offices near it. See The Peaceful Protestors and friends ask the people from the houses and stores and offices for their lunch money.

The Peaceful Protestors and friends call The Police Building and houses and stores and offices near it The Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone. “Autonomous” means no one tells you not to throw bricks and rocks and bombs or to take people’s lunch money.

See the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone get a “colorful” nickname. CHAZ! “Colorful” means really cute, like your new kitten.

See The Media. The Media love “colorful” nicknames. The Media love the “colorful” Peaceful Protestors and friends. Friendly Media!

The Peaceful Protestors and friends say they will give CHAZ back when @MayorJenny and all The Mean Police let other friends take @MayorJenny’s and The Mean Police’s jobs.

The Peaceful Protestors and friends say they will give CHAZ back when jails let out their other friends who throw peaceful bricks and rocks and bombs, take lunch money, or sell that stinky stuff Big Brother sometimes smokes with his friends.

The Peaceful Protestors and friends say they will give CHAZ back when they and their other friends get free doctor visits. I know, you do not like doctor visits. You get ouch-y shots and the scary nurse has cold hands. Is that why The Peaceful Protestors think they should be free?

The Peaceful Protestors and friends say they will give CHAZ back when they and their other friends get free places to live and free college and free pictures and lots of jobs.

Who will pay for those Free Things? Nobody, silly! That is why they are “free.” Hooray, Free Things!

The Free Things The Peaceful Protestors want are called “demands.” Demands are like when you tell Mommy you will hold your breath until your face turns blue if she does not let you play video games all night. Mean Mommy! Mean @MayorJenny! Mean Police! Mean Doctors and Apartment Owners and College Presidents!

See President Donald. President Donald does not think @MayorJenny and Police Chief Carmen should order Reduced Footprints or Trust and De-Escalations. President Donald does not think @MayorJenny and Doctors and Apartment Owners and College Presidents should give Peaceful Protestors and their friends free things because they throw bricks and rocks and bombs. Mean President Donald!

See @MayorJenny again. @MayorJenny does not want to “trust and de-escalate” with President Trump like she and Police Chief Carmen did with The Peaceful Protesters. @MayorJenny says President Trump should go away and “make us all safe.”

Isn’t it funny that @MayorJenny says “make us all safe” after her “Exercise in Trust and De-Escalation?” Funny @MayorJenny! Why are people stuck in CHAZ with The Peaceful Protestors not laughing?

President Donald is like Johnny. Johnny punched Billy the Bully in the nose when Billy asked for lunch money. President Donald wants to send in Army Guys to punch The Peaceful Protestors and The John Brown Gun Club and Antifa in the nose and take back CHAZ.

I think I like President Donald. Do you like President Donald, too?

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